Its true. I am just a regular Mom. I am married with all kids grown and out of the house. My Mom died a few years ago. (I may always have difficulty with time measurement). I have 6 Grand kids now and I have a new puppy. I am 53 years old and I have a story to tell. I do not write in sequence...I merely make an effort to. I grew up in Portland till I was 6 years old and then we moved to Montana. A lot can happen in the first 6 years, actually.
As far as I can tell, I am an integrated Multiple. Not all Multiples integrate. It was a deep need of mine. Ya know, after all the torture and abuse you go through and therapy too...and realizing the splitting saved your soul...its difficult to give up the only defense you have ever known. You have to have a bit of faith that integrating will be a good thing for you because It's not easy to give it up...In a strange sort of way, its your "special". So, I do understand how some do not integrate. I have been out of therapy approximately 6 years and I have not looked back till now. Its time to look. Its time to tell and put in down in writing so maybe I can give someone else hope. The Italics/Bold are journal inserts.
As far as I can tell, I am an integrated Multiple. Not all Multiples integrate. It was a deep need of mine. Ya know, after all the torture and abuse you go through and therapy too...and realizing the splitting saved your soul...its difficult to give up the only defense you have ever known. You have to have a bit of faith that integrating will be a good thing for you because It's not easy to give it up...In a strange sort of way, its your "special". So, I do understand how some do not integrate. I have been out of therapy approximately 6 years and I have not looked back till now. Its time to look. Its time to tell and put in down in writing so maybe I can give someone else hope. The Italics/Bold are journal inserts.
When I began therapy, I was pretty much in shock...I had just been told that I had been severely abused in childhood by my AA counselor. Could not wrap my mind or heart around that one! I was in outpatient for about 2 weeks then. They make everyone take a psychological exam at the beginning and then you get the results after you have been going for a couple of weeks. The treatment counselor, Jim, called me in his office and said my results came back and it showed I had been severely abused in childhood and treatment was highly suggested right away. I blurted out the words "I would have remembered that!" I blurted out this ridiculous sentence many times in the last 20 years.
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